Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction (xbox) Review

Serious Freaking Business

Every genre has its ups and downs. While some are good and some are bad, most of them either have some type of redeeming quality. However, every so often you find this one game that just feels  like there was no effort put into  it what  so ever. Conspiracy: Weapon of Mass Destruction is one of them. To put it lightly, this game feels  and looks like a budget N64 games from 1997 that was delayed for over 5 years and quickly put on xbox, PS2, and PC with little to no update. There is no excuse for a game to be this bad. I don't even call this game shovelware, its that bad. Honestly though, the game does have some humor to  it, but thats mostly due to its VERY poor quality. Enough talking about t, lets get this crap started.

Presentation

Heres were it all gets started. First you put it into you xbox, then you regret you actually paid some type of price  for it (even if you downloaded it and burned  it, you STILL wasted a perfectly good DVD or  CD on it).  You see the no name developer's logo and then it tells you about some douche named "Cole Justice" AKA the best pun EVER! The Menu is nothing but a black background  with the stupid Bio hazard symbol that is spammed everywhere in this game. The settings menu only has like 5 options, none of which effect the game to much. Finally when you press new game (cause theres no way you'll have a save game for this) your greeted with the biggest ass load of text you wil ever find in a game. So much "effort" for such little in return. Oh ya, and the load times are annoying in length, epically when you consider how little needs to be loaded.

Graphics

Damn, it so beautiful!

 Remember when I said N64? well ya, this looks like one,  and not a very good one at that. Where do I start? the clouds move at about 30 MPH, the water has no...ANYTHING, the characters are stiff and beyond lifeless, everything else has just no detention. The only decent thing I can think of is the guns have decent recoil animations, but thats when your not abusing the pistol rapid fire glitch.
     So what did we learn? this game looks like SHIT!!!!!!! yep i just said that, sue me, better yet, sue the idiots who thought it would be a good idea to make this game.

Sound

Sound, ya theres not much in this game. The same menu song lloops over and over through out the menu without any change at all. Thee guns either have terrible sounds or lack any sound what so ever. Theres no wind, foot steps, or even background music while playing. The only person who talks is some person who tellls Cole what to do. ya not much here, though that might be pretty good if you  think about it.

Gameplay

Put all other games to shame

Lets get into the god aweful controls (even by looking at these you can tell  these people seem too not even be looking when they mapped these).  A is the action button (I think). B reloads (Again, i think). Y throws grenades. X switches weapons. White crouches.  Black zooms. R shoots. L jumps. Left thumbstick moves. Right thumbstick aims. Clicking the left thumbstick centers the camera. Left D pad switchs to hand to hand combat. And start pauses. 
      Ok were to begin. The controls are terrible and sometimes don't even function right. You start with very little ammo. There are traps that are stupidly easy to see. The game is really tough only because you can't really do anything. When you die you still hold your gun. And after that you see a black screen with a similar song to the stupid menu theme and you see the words "Cole Justice,  1954-2005" And then the words "We will miss you, Cole, Cara" appear. after that you RESTART from  the last checkpoint.

Overall

The sad part is, someone actually played this game!

 Lets face it, this is as bad as they come and then some. I have no words to describe how bad this is. It was so bad that I haven't found any reviews of it and only a handful of videos on youtube. Then again, maybe its better we leave this game out of pubic eye. This  is probably the wort game  on the xbox. There are probably worse games on the PS2 (since theres so much shovelware) and I know for a fact there are worse for the PC. But damn, this is just one bad game.